I Really Am An Idiot

Yeah like the title says, I really am an idiot :/ Last night I had yet another awful attack of anxiety. I decided i'd message S and say goodnight and no reply. At first I thought oh he's busy, then that soon changed to he's crashed his car (seriously why on earth would I think that) Then finally it moved to he's with another girl. It become so real in my head. I was totally convinced I was right. It was horrible. When I get anxious it's not just a thought process, it also manifests itself physically. My chest feels tight, I go all flushed and my head hurts. This went on for a few hours, where I was playing all these ridiculous scenarios in my head, winding myself up more and more. Anyway obviously I was wrong. He wasn't dead in a ditch, ignoring me or with a skinny supermodel. He was busy. Duhh. Obviously. I'm so annoyed with myself for again getting myself into this state. I then went on to have the worst nights sleep. Firstly I couldn't shut off. Then when I finally did C decide 3am was a great time to wake up and my kitten Mr Grey wanted to join in the fun. I've slept for less than an hour since then. I'm exhausted hence the reason why i'm letting my girls have cookies for breakfast while I lay on the sofa pouring coffee down my throat. But today is a new day. I will fight this anxiety that is already threatening to spill over and take over my day and it's not even 10am. I am armed with herbal remedies and positive thoughts. I'm going to go buy a new book this afternoon and lose myself in that for a few hours. I'm stronger than this emotion and I won't let it ruin anything for me anymore