My Need For Plans

I hate not having concrete plans with people. Like really hate it. If a friend suggests we get together soon for a coffee and gossip, I want to know place, time, date etc. I really dislike waiting to hear back from someone or making last minute arrangements. I've always been like this but more so in the last few years. Maybe it comes from being a mum and the need to be organised? So you can imagine my sheer irritation at not having any firm plans with S. I don't think i've mentioned what he does have I? He's an internet marketer. I'm still trying to figure out what this entails but anyway he works for himself so to say he's busy is abit of an understatement. He has some launch coming up next week which is taking up all of his time and he's working until the early hours of the morning. So obviously he hasn't really got the time to see me this week. If he took a few hours out it's not like he has a colleague who could fill in for him and keep things going. It's all his responsibility. So my logic mind knows this is why we have no plans. My logic mind knows he's not snubbing me or giving me the cold shoulder but my anxious stupid mind says different. This silly little part of me keeps fighting against my logic and telling me that he's making excuses and he has no intention of seeing me. It's ridiculous. I am such a douche bag sometimes :/ The last week I've been really trying to deal with my anxiety. When I feel i'm about to have a moment I stop, deep breaths and try to regain my composure. I keep reminding myself daily that if he wasn't interested I wouldn't even hear from him. Seriously Kelly, chill out. Just getting my thoughts out on here really does help. It's like free therapy.